With the greetings out of the way, Andy Cohen dives into the reunion with none another than Queen V, “Well after the Brookes cancer scandal last year…” Cut to a great flashback of the apology tour she went on. A GREAT apology tour might I add, one of the best, def puts Stassi’s to shame but that’s not really saying much. The wrinkle remover, botox, collagen or whatever people like to inject in their face looks amazing.
She is still sticking to the “I didn’t know about the cancer scam, I had a lot going on, I trusted him” thing. Which just doesn’t work because even if you believed him when he first told you, as time went on his story started to unravel and rumors swirled, you still stood by him. So no! Vicki you can’t keep saying you didn’t know, you knew!! Jesus Christ, she’ actually worse than a politician, at least they own things once faced with documentation or a mistress. I digress.
Oooooh too quick on the defense Vick, she totally sent the flowers to herself lmao. She’s gritting her teeth saying, “I did not, It’s not funny.” And it’s actually really funny watching Vick try to show emotion with that botox filled face.
Is she seriously trying to convince us she’s not on anything, because she just made a square with her fingers. Ok there’s a lot of fingers flying. Wow! She’s fired up she does not wanna stay on the Brookes topic lol she is throwing a tantrum, and making faces like petulant child. “Go after ding dong, dingdingdingding dong” I don’t know what’s going on or wtf she’s talking about.
Kelly claims she watched the show then stopped watching the show and then binge watched before she came on. K.
On to Shannon not forgiving Vicki – she says forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to let someone back in.
“THEN GET OFF MY SHOW GET OFF MY SHOW BYE BYE FELICIA” – Queen V
ok….so yea….guarantee Vicki has never seen Friday and doesn’t even know how to recite it properly. Bye Felicia is officially out, everyone note it.
V is too turnt lmfao “this is my show, you’re welcome to be on it for awhile, 11 years baby” ok bitch! When’d you start signing checks?
Next Up: TT (turnt up Tamra) are we going in order Andy? hmm
Her situation breaks my heart. Glad to hear her and Simon’s situation is in a better place! I really really want that to resolve and for the kids to be talking to the both them. Please, please, please, secret it.
Kelly says she doesn’t think Tamra is a good Christian. Find me one Dodd, find me one. Awful dress choice btw ugh I want her to win so bad but those tits are all over the place. IS SHE COHERENT? WHAT IS SHE NOT GETTING ABOUT TAMRA NOT HAVING A PROBLEM WITH HER PRIOR TO IRELAND?? This is just annoying it’s as if your talking to a brick wall I just zone out on her because sometimes it’s just too exhausting.
Speaking of zone out, for some reason next up is Megan. And we’re forced to suffer through a disgustingly boring, depressing synopsis of Megan’s non-existent partnership and journey into motherhood. String me up and lynch me. I swear to God Bravo. OK, OK, OK TO BE FAIR she looks stunning, she’s got that glow, I’m loving the eyeshadow and that is saying a lot because 1. I hate gaudy eyeshadow and 2. Its glitter.
Heather bothers the fuck out of me now. I no longer love her. I no longer like her. I don’t care about her frozen embryos and I do not care about her multimillion dollar mansion. Unbearable, un-relatable, done with Debrow.
Back to Kelly – Andy says “you’ve been one of the most polarizing housewives we’ve ever seen” she smiles from ear to ear, “aww thank you, wow” it just goes right over head. Her one regret is her treatment of her husband, good. No regrets about the treatment of the other women however, cringe.
And in true Kelly fashion directly after expressing remorse for talking bad about someone she goes on to talk about her husband being a Narcissist, and obsessively checking her phone/emails. Nice.
Tamra whispers “that’s not a narcissist.” Takes one to know one TT c’mon, easy layup.
Cut to the “OK MS. ROPER” scene I swear to God this is my favorite clip. “It was youuuuu, whoooooo?, it was youuuuuuuuu, WHOOOO? It.was.youuuuu” and then Tamra or someone is on the green screen saying, “at one point Kelly turned into an owl.” lol plz go watch that episode if you haven’t.
Shannon just own up to setting Kelly up that night, seriously.
Footage doesn’t lie vick. David was pretty nasty but you walked over to him. Ok mellenial Megan speaking some semi truths – I’m always teetering the fence on this topic. On one hand I do want to be treated equal to men but on the other I don’t want one aggressively yelling or coming at me.
Now all of a sudden children watch this show and you can’t say “suck dick” lmao. UHHH VICKI YOU HAD YOUR BREASTS EXPOSED A FEW EPISODES BACK, HERE’S A REFRESHER.
We end part 1 on the topic of Kelly’s affair and the other family she ruined. Shannon’s reached Kristen level psychosis and has even reached out and spoken to the woman. Ew. Over all it was a good start, looking forward to part 3 and hopefully part 2 isn’t too much of a snooze.
Thanks for reading, tell me your thoughts on these ladies!