Emotional Distress: RHOA S9 Ep3

 

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“We came through serving camel toe” – Phaedra loves a camel toe, apparently they are in?? I’m here to tell you they are not, my friends and I screen shot them and zoom in to have a laugh. Exhibit A above. It’s frightening for people to see, please don’t think it’s ok to be out in public like this.

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We begin with Phaedra, Porsha, and Sheree at lunch. It’s a really fun light scene, they seem like genuine friends just having a good time as they discuss what happened between Kenya and Sheree.

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In regards to the “Chateau Thelma” comment, Sheree says the house is not in her mom’s name it is in a family trust and yes she had some credit issues who hasn’t.

Porsha says to Sheree ‘Your mom probably used her name back in the day; you probably had a cable or light bill. Black kids credit be used all the way up by 18.’ I’m dead. The fact that this is so true had me dying laughing. This is that ghetto ass shit I be talking about, stop it! Black people, HELLO! black people are you listening? Stop putting bills and shit in your kids name, for the love of God. I got friends who can’t get comcast right now cuz they momma ran up the bill lmfaoooooo, I can not deal.

Some random ass light skinned, Jamaican lady popped up by the Kandi Factory and everyone was acting like someone walked in and announced they had aids. Todd hoped up out his seat and started limping off lol I don’t fucking get it.

We quickly find out she’s Riley’s dad’s girlfriend. Okayyyyyyyyy…….….

The green card comment was such a lazy read Kandi, honestly why?

Kris Kelli is her name, and she’s there to bridge the gap between Kandi and Block (the baby daddy). She made the attempt and it was cute, I know exactly where she is coming from but I totally get why Kandi wasn’t open to it. Block should’ve pulled up not her, it’s really not her place.

Todd is also right though. It’s never too late to try to have some sort of relationship with your child. Although they might not respond to it as quickly and openly as you would like, it does not hurt to try. Father’s please keep reaching out to your kids, fuck all the bull shit with the mother and make the effort.

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This just got too deep for an intro, where’s Porsha and Phaedra when you need them..

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Matt was cuter to me last season but he has fucked his way back behind the wheel of Kenya range rover and they are headed to his family reunion, go ahead Matt.

Bob showing off that thigh muscle for Sheree is funny lol. Their dynamic is cute.

He is sweaty as fuck and it is alarming to be honest. Like all they’re doing is having a conversation in the kitchen and there is continuous sweat drops forming and dripping down his face and neck. Omfg ew.

Then he says “well your house is bigger than mine, so can I move in?”, the words every woman wants to hear after raising your kids for a good 18 years.

Mal dropped by Cynthia’s and reveals she’s been speaking to Peter. He’s been telling her that he misses his wife…..blah blah fuckin blah. Bye Peter!! leave that gorgeous woman alone and get back to the 19-year-old waitresses you like to sleep with. OK? K.
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Porsha I thought you had gained some brain cells. Why tf would you willingly have a baby by yourself? I can’t take her seriously and Phaedra can’t either. We have the exact same reaction, a quick, turn side eye, and jog away. Like P O R S H A, are you mentally stable? You can’t even stand to be alone with yourself, how are you going to do it with the baby? I’m not here for this, and I totally get age is a factor; but she’s better off taking her chances in a real relationship. Just do what all the other bitches do; pretend to be on, or get off birth control midway through the relationship and hold his cum in realllllllll tight.

Kenya did you think talking shit about someone’s son would be a great introduction to the family? His mom and dad are so, so, so cute but ima need for Matt sister to take several steps back.

Matt father is funny as fuck throwing out that she makes more money than him lol, at least they know who the power player here is. I am not mad at them, I enjoyed his family reunion. Kenya make this work bitch we do not need another Walter J situation on our hands, lock it down! I am 1,000% here for Matt and Kenya. She seemed to have a good time at the reunion, his family is very loving and she deserves to be a part of that.

Ooooooh Porsha boo kinda foineee!

Girl, I get your age and your impending biological clock but you ain’t got no sense. You are in your 30s, why are you aspiring to be a baby mama? That is a title no woman should ever want. That man ain’t taking care of or claiming the children he already has left and right. He is no catch. At least he was honest with her (the look of sheer shock and dismay) and didn’t sell a dream.

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-Cut to Kandi and Sheree working out at the gym-

We find out Porsha used to be cool with Block the baby daddy. LOL Sheree’s shade is just priceless.

Kandi’s attempt at Kris Kelli’s accent is the exact reason I cannot fucking stand when American people try to imitate patio. You sound Irish. You sound stupid. You are embarrassing. But her baby father is even more embarrassing.

THIS DUSTY, DUMB FUCK, TALKIN BOUT KANDI DOESN’T URGE RILEY TO REACH OUT TO HIM. SIR, ARE YOU SLOW?????

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OOOOH this scene got me fired up. Kandi is a good, strong, woman and she raised Riley better than a lot of two parent families but I know that shit hurt to hear him say he wouldn’t be there. Ladies if a man refuses to be there for you or be a part of their life just let them go and use that shit as motivation. We as woman hold ourselves to such low standards and allow men to strip us of our self-worth but we are 10x’s the man a lot of them wish they could be. You can’t make a man be a man if he is not ready to, and it is extremely sad and a hard pill to swallow but it is what is. If at his age Block doesn’t understand he should be reaching out to his 14-year-old daughter any fucking chance he gets well then may God or whoever help him.

We end with Kandi crying to Sheree and it is definitely genuine. I couldn’t imagine being in her shoes, I never ever saw that in my future. This episode brought up a lot of emotions for me. How did you feel about it, would Block and Kris Kelly have a seat at your table?

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