Porsha Dressed to Dead Bitches and Got Deaded: RHOA S9 E12

 

I been gone for a minute but I come to you in the aftermath of a near brunch time brawl. The housewives of Atlanta have been giving me life this season so let’s just get right into it.

Phaedra and Kenya meet up to buy things for their upcoming Glamping trip and of course, address what went left at their last get together. Kenya continues to defend her actions and claims she fears for her safety around Porsha. When wholetime she was the aggressor, following her out the restaurant and duck walking on Sheree. Bitch bang!

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I really can’t stand when Kenya pokes the bear then acts like a distraught white woman with the police on speed dial. I.e. the incident in Miami with Tracie’s, or whatever her name is, nephew. Kenya called Porsha out her name and basically asked her if she was on any anti-psycotics and she didn’t get slapped, sounds like progress to me.

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Phaedra says she wants everyone to act civilized, unlike urban portrayals and Kenya says she’s from Detroit she never acts like that anyway. Phae Phae does the matrix on her ass which was exactly my reaction.

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Porsha goes to see her therapist and brings up how quiet Phae Phae was during the whole ordeal. Which really ain’t nothing knew for Phaedra, she’s been a background bully. Then she mentions how shocking it was for Kandi to have gone off on her like a bitch off the streets. I guess that all black outfit couldn’t dead all them bitches..

Cynthia meets up with Matt to help diffuse the situation between he and Kenya. He talks about the lack of respect shown and Kenya’s manipulation which I believe 100%. We have seen Kenya manipulate people for seasons but that still doesn’t excuse a grown ass man breaking windows whenever he gets mad, get your self together Mathew. Cynthia said it best, “if she’s the drama queen you’re the drama king.” Kenya didn’t like being called dramatic and so she storms off of Cynthia’s property to prove it.

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Kandi throws an all white party to celebrate Shamea’s engagement and none of the ladies show up in white. I’m still confused as to how she and Kandi got so close but that really ain’t none of my business. What is my business however, is Shamea’s vivid rendition of a blow job. She sucked the shit out of that imaginary dick sound effects and all, and for that I gotta love her.

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Porsha then goes over to Shamea’s house to give a kinda sorta apology for not showing up to her party. Shamea articulates that she should’ve been there for her because the night was about her not Kandi. Porsha was basically like look, I’m sorry I didn’t come but the reason was much bigger than you and I stand by my decision. Ehhhokayyy. She goes on to deny the conversation she had with Phae Phae and Sheree while Bravo cuts to clips of her not only allowing the convo but agreeing to Shamea sleeping with husbands. The whole scene just left me really uneasy; like why is Porsha going so hard for Phaedra, are they munching on each others boxes too?

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The day of the glamping trip finally arrives and the girls meet up with each other to wait for the bus at Kenya’s and Sheree’s house. For the life of me I do not know why Sheree had people over when they can’t come inside! Kenya had a beautiful spread set out for the girls and the Manor seems to be coming along great. Meanwhile over at Sheree’s she brought out a fold-up card table, placed it in her front yard and acted as if it was just a no-brainer that people weren’t allowed inside. Talking bout, “girl you know it’s still a construction site.” Then why didn’t you just go to Kenya’s!!? Lord, Sheree plays too fucking much! I could not stop laughing.

On the bus Porsha pulls out a doctors note that allows her to bring a guest on the trip and everybody is just like girl bye. Save the antics for Kenya and phony Phae Phae.

The episode ends there, continue on to the next part…

 

 

 

 

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