RHOBH: Own it Lisa! S7 E12

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As someone who has been called skeletor during squabbles I mean it when I say, Lisa Rinna’s protruding spinal cord and near labia slip was cute.

In true Beverly Hills fashion last week’s episode involved tears, cries of amnesia and a not so subtle early event departure.  When confronted with filling Eden’s head with desperate delusions about Kim’s looming death Rinna proved once again, that she can’t stand the heat. She went from absolutely not saying it, not remembering it, blaming it all on Eden to apologizing if she did say it. All the while Bravo is cutting to clips of her going the fuck in on Kim.

 

“If I did say it, it wasn’t in a mean, hateful way,” Rinna says while all of America rolls their eyes. Just own it Lisa! Own it!

Own the fact that your story lines have to revolve around the other women to deflect from your own scandals. Instead she takes a page out of Eileen’s book and hightails it out of there after a fit of hysterics. It’s almost as if her sobriety had been called into question.

Rinna summons Eden for a sit down because she is pissed that she outed her to Vanderpump. She comes in with a lot of passive aggression and then asks Eden, “why she went to LVP?” Here she learns the #1 rule when it comes to new friendships: telling your business is not an olive branch, be weary who you share with.

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I just love it when people go on reality shows with at least three months of cameras recording them and can’t remember half of what they say. Eden claims she went to VP for an unbiased opinion and no one knows wtf she’s talking about, she isn’t unbiased sweetie. She also mentions how Rinna likes to flee the scene whenever she’s under fire. Chose your friends wisely coo-coo bird.

Rinna’s been doing a whole bunch of Charity work for a kitchen and still couldn’t be bothered to learn how to cook. Kyle acted as if she was touching acidic dick when she was cleaning the fish. Act like an adult! It’s food, this is what your chefs do to prepare your meals.

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I really hate when chronically late bitches harp on somebody about being on time. VP shows up and explains she had trouble opening her gates before traveling there and Rinna makes a joke about her vagina gates being closed for years.  If I had even found her Gate joke funny I wouldn’t even be able to hear my own laughter over hers. Ha, ha, ha. Whoever’s writing her stuff lately is extremely annoying.

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Dorito jerking off that zucchini is the last straw! 100% convinced Bravo launched a sex intiative last year and put it in all the women’s contracts. The sexual innuendos have gone from innuendo to IN-U-END-O.

And why the fuck is Eden a broken bird? Wtf is LVP talking about?

I love that Mr.Jarodie is super into Erika Jane’s video expensive, no regard for the the cost at all. Just throw it in the bag. Erika looks damn good sitting awkwardly across from him.

Cut to Rinna’s charity award dinner… Receiving an award for how charitable one is just makes me really uncomfortable. If it aint the nobel peace price I’m fucking cringing. LVP didn’t come because she doesn’t like Rinna, simple as that. Harry gives another moving speech while Rinna cries, championing him on anddddd their relationship has officially become nauseating. What are y’all trying to prove? The girls talk about Eden’s catfish, “I was once a model” boyfriend across the pond and the episode ends.

Ehh, not the most compelling and I’m astounded that Kim’s sobriety is still the biggest strife on the show. At least it no longer revolves around the great Munchausen debate. Give me more bravo…

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